Last time we asked for the advice we’d give to our younger selves – and got some powerful, poignant and uplifting replies.
As a recovering people pleaser myself, I found some comments very impactful.
Stop trying to make others happy.
C. Marie
Be true to yourself
-Deb
Others muse about being more open to possibilities…
I’d say look beyond what you are familiar with to other possibilities outside of what you know. Don’t let others tell you, you can’t do it….
Karen Bridger
Many comments were simply ‘be true to yourself.” And who among us wouldn’t agree with this advice from Reader Vivian?
…and finally Reader Nancy offers some uplifting words that put it all in perspective.
But then, I wouldn’t have the son that I treasure, this little house that’s all mine in a community I adore, the friends that I enjoy being with, the church that has deepened my understanding of the Bible & helped me to see the thousands of blessings I’ve received.
Where does the time go? Somehow I’m still stuck thinking that 10 years ago is the 90’s —- 30 years ago.
I guess it’s some kind of weird hope that I can magically go into a Wayback Machine and get a do over for some decisions and actions of mine. (Yeah, yeah, I know it’s all valuable and made me what I am, yada yada, but this is pretend.)
Besides, it’s interesting to consider what might have been, the roads taken (or not) and how my life would have been different today. When I look back there are some decisions and habits that cast a long shadow. Here’s what I’d tell my younger, 90’s self about them:
- Don’t sell the McDonald’s stock. (High trading fees and the stock’s lack of movement did it. If I held on I’d be writing from my yacht in Monaco now.)
- Hold on to the house, no matter what Michael said. (Not once, but twice! OW!!)
- Get over your fear of driving! (I was so bad people stopped to watch, openmouthed, while I tried to park. Now I’m aware how it limits my choices of places and activities.)
- Don’t postpone joy. (I don’t have to ‘earn it’ or wait for the perfect time. Be happy now!)
- Seek out and pay attention to the advice of medical, legal and financial professionals. (Take the damn vitamins, read the damned directions, and make the time!)
- Work actively to maintain relationships with people who prove they value you and not just because they are “faaaamily.”
- Stop worrying about things you can’t control.
- Ease up on the stilettos. I can only wear sneakers now.
Your Turn
But that’s me. How about you? What would tell your younger self? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Virge Randall is Senior Planet’s Managing Editor. She is also a freelance culture reporter who seeks out hidden gems and unsung (or undersung) treasures for Straus Newspapers; her blog “Don’t Get Me Started” puts a quirky new spin on Old School New York City. Send your suggestions for Open Threads to her at editor@seniorplanet.org.

COMMENTS
18 responses to “Open Thread Update: Advice to Your Younger Selves”
Show people that you love and care about them. However, if they don’ t reciprocate, move on. Don’t waste time with people who don’t care enough about you.
I’d stand up to my parents, make them know that I’m intelligent and capable. I’m much more than they believe. I’ve told people in trailers to get off our land . My parents didn’t know that.. I was on horseback, Tonto. I said something to the trailer and I said I would call the sheriff if they didn’t leave.
I’d say look beyond what you are familiar with to other possibilities outside of what you know. It is a big world and you don’t have to stay in your current location. Don’t let others tell you, you can’t do it. Get a good education even if it isn’t easy. The education is it’s own reward. Don’t miss any weddings, funerals or birthdays. Those are important events in the lives of your friends and family and you need to be there to share it.
I’d tell my younger self, don’t let anxiety win. Try new things, meet new people, go out of your comfort zone. Don’t let the criticism of others decide what you’re going to do or not do. Be true to yourself.
Love this, good for any age right? Speaks to my 75 year old self.
I’d recognize love more often. Many times I ended relationships because of things I didn’t like. However love was still present.
I’d be less curious about things I knew were not for me like drugs and gambling.
Never saved money like I should have. Although I’ve always had what I needed I could’ve done better.
Wow, as usual I’m the ‘bad seed’ because none of your comments mention mistakes like using drugs or having sex because you wanted so much for the guy to like you.
To younger me: I forgive you for the terrible mistakes you made that changed who you were meant to be. You’ve never accepted the possibility your parents might have said or done more to impress upon to be very aware, love yourself, be proud of yourself, you’re a good girl, you’re smart, and your little sister looks up to you.
I wish I had researched more available options for a major in college. I just listened to what other people said I would be good at. Anyway, in the 60s not a lot of options were available to women, especially in small States like Wyoming.
However, I just felt fortunate to be going to college at all! Eventually, I did make my way around to doing work more suitable for me. I learned a lot along the way!
i WISH i HAD HAD MORE FUN. I STUDIED HARD, MARRIED AND HAD CHILDREN, NEVER STOPPED WORK AND WHEN I RETIRED I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN AND ENJOY LIFE. AT 77 YEARS OF AGE, I HAVE FINALLY LEARNED QUITE A FEW THINGS ABOUT ENJOYING LIFE. BUT THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE WHEN I WAS YOUNG. I WILL MISS THEM FOREVER.
If you love someone (family, friend or romantic partner), tell the person while you still have the chance.
Oh the things I wish I could change! But then, I wouldn’t have the son that I treasure, this little house that’s all mine in a community I adore, the friends that I enjoy being with, the church that has deepened my understanding of the Bible & helped me to see the thousands of blessings I’ve received. Who can know ‘what might have been?’. To my younger self I would say: Step out of your comfort zone, because that is where true growth and amazing adventures happen!
Stop trying to make others happy. You cannot change anyone. Only they can make that decision to find joy. Accept it.
I absolutely agree with you 100%! I spent most of my life trying to make someone happy who just didn’t want to be happy. I could not make him happy; he had to make that decision himself. Being happy is just NOT what he wants to do. It took me years to realize that.
My husband’s answer is: I’d tell myself to be more bold.
I would not listen to all the negative things that people (family) told me about myself.example when they told me I was stupid I have worked hard at proving them and myself wrong. I would have learned self love is more important than other people’s acceptance. I would embrace radical acceptance and dealt with things as they were and not live in a fantasy world of wishing things were different. I would tell myself no matter what “Never give up.”
I would be more self directed in planning a career rather than marrying at 21 and becoming a mom at 22 which postponed all of that. Instead of becoming a nurse at 47, I should have done so in the late 1960’s and gone to serve in Vietnam, then I would feel I had contributed to my country.
At 80, I barely regret any of my actions over the decades. I stayed in a relationship too long, but I learned a lot about myself from that. I do regret some inactions, especially not asking my parents and grandparents to tell me their stories when I was a teenager and young adult. Growing up, I didn’t care to listen . Now I wish I’d listened and written down the stories. I would have understood my family better — not only their histories, but their decisions about their own lives and mine.
Be true to yourself. Don’t be so keen to be a people pleaser ( even subconsciously) or keep the peace , that you allow others to traverse your boundaries to the extent you lose sight of who you really are.
Sign Up for Newsletters
There’s always a lot going on in the Senior Planet universe. Get our newsletters to make sure you never miss a thing!
Sign Up Now
Join Senior Planet Community
Senior Planet Community is our social media platform designed specifically for older adult users. Engage in thought-provoking discussions, make new friends, and share resources all on a safe and ad-free platform.
Join the Conversation Today
Upcoming Online Classes
Calendar of Events
Start your week off right with a preview of the week's upcoming programs and a guided meditation session!
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Registration required.
Where can you find cute pets, news, how-to videos, and more? YouTube, of course! Join us for an intro to YouTube.
Learn how the Nextdoor app can help you connect to neighbors and stay in the know in your neighborhood.
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
This program is cancelled.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Like to know what's happening? Come learn about X (formerly Twitter)!
Ready to get your business noticed online? From SEO to five-star reviews, discover practical strategies to put your business on the digital map!
Follow various cues to develop body alignment and breath awareness.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Learn about platforms that make website building a breeze!
Are you paying for TV channels you don't watch? Learn why people are "cutting the cord" and using streaming services instead!
Learn what Podcasts are and where to find them!
Make money while decluttering with online marketplaces!
Start your week off right with a preview of the week's upcoming programs and a guided meditation session!
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Registration required.
Ready to ditch the filling cabinet and store your documents virtually? Join this lecture on Digital Vaults to learn how!
Tired of juggling paperwork, deadlines, and day-to-day chaos? Discover the user-friendly software tools that can bring clarity, control, and peace of mind to your business.
Make money while decluttering with online marketplaces!
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Tour world famous museums from the comfort of your home!
Registration required.
Come learn about QR codes, augmented reality apps, and more!
Want to use AI on your phone? Come explore Google Gemini’s mobile features, from drafting messages to managing privacy.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Will your digital content and social media pages live on forever? Come learn about your digital legacy options!
Join Senior Planet and our tour guides from Discover Live for a virtual visit to Croatia!
Can you photoshop that? Come learn the possibilities with photo editing tools!
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Concerned about viruses and malware? Attend this lecture to learn how to keep your device safe!
Don't want to pay for software? Learn how Google's free tools have you covered.
Curious about your family's history? Fill in the gaps using digital genealogy resources!
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Be your own DJ with help from Spotify.
¡Venga a chatear con ChatGPT y aprenda sobre IA!
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Learn how to stay safe while you surf the web!
Join this session for a fun workout that will boost your strength, flexibility, and mobility!
Need a vacation? Learn about popular websites and apps for booking vacation rentals.
Be your own travel agent with help from these online travel sites!
Leave the dictionary at home and start using digital tools that can translate on the go.
Start your week off right with a preview of the week's upcoming programs and a guided meditation session!
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Learn tips and tricks to using your smartphone while staying safe!
Registration required.
A simple plan is better than no plan! Get to know a few free and low-cost resources that make it simple to plan your estate.
Interested in taking your cash only business into the digital age? Learn what digital payments are and how to choose among them in this lecture!
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Learn about platforms that make website building a breeze!
Don't want to go out? Learn about some popular apps to get food delivered to your front door.
Registration required.
Curious about AI? Come learn the basics, including how it works and considerations to keep in mind.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Don't overpay for internet. Learn about programs offering low-cost home internet that can help save you money.
Registration required.
Where can you find cute pets, news, how-to videos, and more? YouTube, of course! Join us for an intro to YouTube.
Learn what Podcasts are and where to find them!
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Registration required.
Are you scam savvy? Come to this lecture to learn about fraud and scams and how to protect yourself against them.
Explore ways that tech can help you save money and manage your finances!
Learn how the Nextdoor app can help you connect to neighbors and stay in the know in your neighborhood.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
See who you are talking to with video chat apps!
Aprenda cómo aprovechar al máximo ChatGPT y otros software de IA.
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Registration required.
Goodbye floppy discs and USB drives! Learn about cloud storage options that save your files remotely.
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Registration required.
Make money while decluttering with online marketplaces!
Discover what you can do with online and mobile banking!
Learn how to make the most out of ChatGPT and other AI software.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
No car? No problem! Use these apps to help you get around!
Who are Alexa and Siri? Come to this lecture to find out!
Will your digital content and social media pages live on forever? Come learn about your digital legacy options!
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Say cheese! Learn more about your smartphone's camera.
Registration required.
Faster is not always better! Come learn about home internet options so you only pay for what you need.
Still paying for texting? Use these free apps instead.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
¡Todo el mundo habla de IA! Asista a esta clase para ver cómo la IA es parte de la vida cotidiana.
Learn how to stay safe while you surf the web!
Join this session to turn your business idea into reality and learn about planning, research, and funding options.
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Join this session for a fun workout that will boost your strength, flexibility, and mobility!
Learn how digital coupon tools can help you save money!
Can't find it in the store? Learn about shopping online!
You CAN leave home without your wallet! Learn about popular digital wallets and their many uses.
Start your week off right with a preview of the week's upcoming programs and a guided meditation session!
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Registration required.
Concerned about privacy? Unsure about accepting cookies? Come learn about some essential privacy tips!
Interested in taking your cash only business into the digital age? Learn what digital payments are and how to choose among them in this lecture!
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Activate the joints and muscles and increase mental focus during this exercise class.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Ready to get your business noticed online? From SEO to five-star reviews, discover practical strategies to put your business on the digital map!
Goodbye floppy discs and USB drives! Learn about cloud storage options that save your files remotely.
Registration required.
Everyone is talking about AI! Come to this class to see how AI is part of everyday life.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Registration required.
Tired of resetting your password all the time? Join this lecture to discover password alternatives and different ways to manage your passwords.
Learn how the Nextdoor app can help you connect to neighbors and stay in the know in your neighborhood.
Get your heart pumping during this fun, high-energy workout!
Come learn about all that Senior Planet has to offer online!
Activate the joints and muscles to become limber and increase balance during this exercise class.
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
Goodbye Copper, Hello Fiber!
Registration required.
Overwhelmed by the choices of a new computer? We'll help you simplify so you can decide!
Are you paying for TV channels you don't watch? Learn why people are "cutting the cord" and using streaming services instead!
Start your day with a short morning stretch!
¿Podemos realmente creer lo que vemos? ¡Venga a esta clase para acostumbrarse a reconocer la IA!
Love the great outdoors? Come learn how smartphone apps can enhance your outdoor hobbies!
Relax your mind and strengthen your body with this gentle exercise class.
Registration required.
Learn how to use emojis, GIFs, and more to quickly say what you mean!
Will your digital content and social media pages live on forever? Come learn about your digital legacy options!
A simple plan is better than no plan! Get to know a few free and low-cost resources that make it simple to plan your estate.
Ready to ditch the filling cabinet and store your documents virtually? Join this lecture on Digital Vaults to learn how!
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Morning Stretch
YouTube
Introduction to Nextdoor
Fit Fusion Workout
CANCELLED – Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Intro to X (formerly Twitter)
Getting Your Small Business Online
Chair Yoga
Morning Stretch
Website Builders at a Glance
Streaming & Smart TVs
Podcasts at a Glance
Intro to Selling Online
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Morning Stretch
Digital Vaults
Essential Tech for Running Your Small Business
Intro to Selling Online
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Virtual Museum Tours
Smartphone Camera Uses Beyond Photography
Using the Google Gemini App Demo
Morning Stretch
Digital Legacy at a Glance
Virtual Tour: Split, Croatia
Intro to Photo Editing Tools
Fit Fusion Workout
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Anti-Virus & Malware Removal Programs At a Glance
Google Workspace
Digital Genealogy Tools
Morning Stretch
Spotify
Introducción a la IA
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Protecting Your Personal Info Online
Saturday Morning Boost: A Fun and Functional Workout
Introduction to Booking Vacation Stays Online
Online Travel Sites
Intro to Translation Tools
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Morning Stretch
Safe & Savvy Smartphone Habits
Introduction to Estate Planning Resources & Tools
Digital Payments & Your Small Business
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Website Builders at a Glance
Food Delivery Apps
Intro to AI
Morning Stretch
Affordable Home Internet
YouTube
Podcasts at a Glance
Fit Fusion Workout
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Understanding Fraud & Scams
CANCELLED – Saving Money with Tech
Introduction to Nextdoor
Morning Stretch
CANCELLED – Video Chat
Introducción a chatear con IA
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Cloud Storage
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Intro to Selling Online
Banking and Finance Apps at a Glance
Intro to Chatting with AI
Morning Stretch
Ridesharing Apps
Voice Assistants
Digital Legacy at a Glance
Fit Fusion Workout
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Intro to Smartphone Photography
Understanding Internet Plans
Messaging Apps
Morning Stretch
Usos cotidianos de la IA
Protecting Your Personal Info Online
Turning a Business Idea Into Reality
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Saturday Morning Boost: A Fun and Functional Workout
Digital Coupon Tools
Online Shopping
Introduction to Digital Wallets
Good Morning, Senior Planet!
Morning Stretch
Intro to Managing Your Privacy
Digital Payments & Your Small Business
Fit Fusion Workout
Stronger Bones
Morning Stretch
Getting Your Small Business Online
Cloud Storage
Everyday Uses of AI
Morning Stretch
Passwords, Passkeys, and More
Introduction to Nextdoor
Fit Fusion Workout
Virtual Orientation to Senior Planet
Balance/Strength
Morning Stretch
Staying in Touch as Landlines Change
How to Choose a New Computer
Streaming & Smart TVs
Morning Stretch
¿Es eso IA?
Outdoor Adventure Apps
Taijiquan (Tai Chi)
Emojis, GIFs, and more!
Digital Legacy at a Glance
Introduction to Estate Planning Resources & Tools
Digital Vaults
Recent Articles
Recent Comments